After two months of unemployment, I have a confession to make. I am not good at doing nothing. Or doing stuff that doesn't feel particularly productive for that matter. When I was working and had other obligations, I longed for the time to read a book or watch a movie. Now I've had weeks of time to do that stuff and for the most part I haven't.
When it comes to sun and surf, I now live in the land of plenty. However, you will not find me on a towel soaking up the afternoon rays. If I'm there, I'm walking Jak or I have my camera and am taking pictures. As previously mentioned I have been catching up on past seasons of Downton Abbey (got Season 2 yesterday!) but if I sit down to watch I will only do so if I have accomplished something. And if I watch multiple episodes then I must accomplish something in between, like doing dishes or vacuuming.
There is one time in my day that I will allow myself to do nothing. Some evenings on the return home from the dog beach I have to wait for the train to pass. Now there is another route I could go that would take me up and over the tracks and I wouldn't have to wait. More and more though I find myself choosing the way to the tracks. When I do have to wait it's no more than 5 minutes at the most and I've started looking forward to that as my allowed time to do nothing.
At the start of this letter I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with it however as it usually happens when I am in tune to write, the thought process comes together. Perhaps this stage of unemployment/looking for work that I am in is to teach me to slow down and appreciate the opportunity to do nothing. The time to go and do will come around again in the form of a job and other obligations. In the meantime I will more consciously embrace this space where nothing is required of me because soon enough I will probably be thinking, I wish I had time to read a book or watch a movie or...
Peace & Love,
Hope
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