Life's A Great Balancing Act

Hello Good People of the World,

It was the late, great Dr. Seuss that wrote in his book "Oh the Places You'll Go" to "remember that life is a great balancing act."  As I sit here this evening writing on my perpetually neglected blog I have to think that maybe my life is out of balance.

As I walked out of work this evening, the sky looked like this...

The storm clouds were looming.  Instead of feeling disappointed or aggravated that thunder and rain were inevitable, I actually felt a sense of relief.  An impending storm meant I didn't have to rush home and change and rush off to the dog beach to walk Jak.  And then rush home to have supper, do a few necessary chores and get to bed as I have to get up at 3am to go to work tomorrow.  This is what my life has become.  Working 6 days a week means I spend the free time I have running.  Not recreational running, running to get stuff done.  A weekday evening, sitting on the couch, typing my blog without feeling guilty that I'm not walking Jak (thank you storm clouds!) has become a huge luxury in my world.

A little over a week ago my mom came to visit.  Thankfully I was able to take the time off from both of my jobs to spend with her and to just have a break.  The reality of my busy lifestyle hit me the first day that Mom was here and she wanted to go in a store to just poke around.  Poking around hasn't existed in my world for a while.  When I go into a store it's either after work or after a walk at the dog beach or on my one day off.  Jak is either at home waiting or in the car waiting.  I know exactly what I'm looking for and I get in a store and get out.  The first few minutes I was in that store with my mom I almost had a meltdown.  I knew she wanted to shop and I knew she would be a while.  I had no where to be and no reason not to let her shop till her heart's content.  Except my brain was still in go mode.  I started feeling totally anxious about how long this shopping expedition was going to take.  I had to talk myself down in the stationary aisle.  I told myself it was okay to look around.  At anything.  At nothing specific.  I could try on shoes just for the heck of it.  Even if I wasn't going to buy them.  I could browse the home decor even if I had no purpose for it.  This was a big awakening moment for me.  Not only I am always on the go, but when I could take the time to slow down I'd forgot how to.   

So now the question is how do I get this great balancing act back in balance.  Well, there is potential for some change in my work situation.  Details to be disclosed when potential becomes reality.  I also think I need to be a little kinder to myself.  As long as Jak's basic needs are being met, it's okay to skip an evening walk once or twice a week.  Without making any promises, I would like to get back to writing my blog a little more regularly.  I appreciate those of you that still check and I know it's a good creative outlet for me as well.  Beyond that I guess I take it day by day.  And especially enjoy the rainy evenings when I don't have to do battle with that voice in my head.  Life is too short to spend it always rushing around.

Until next time...
Peace & Love,
Hope